Season 1, Episode 2
New Beginnings In Marriage And Business
Join Joseph & Jasmine Mims and Lyle Leads as they discuss their story as a couple and how starting business and newly married affected their business.
In this episode we will cover:
– What does starting in business look like as a couple?
– How can a single book change the way your see life?
– What do you do when your family doesn’t believe in you?
– How do you feed your mind to overcome your past?
– How do couples work together when both are entrepreneurs?
– How does relaxation work for marriage and business?
– How hustle may not be what you think?
– What do you do if you are jealous of your spouses attention as an entrepreneur?
Lyle: Hello, this is Lyle with Optimize Profitability podcast today I’m here with Joe and Jasmine Mims, and they’re both entrepreneurs and they’re married. I don’t know about you, but being married to an entrepreneur is its own world.
You can ask my wife because she’s not an entrepreneur, but this couple has been married just over a year and they’ve done some amazing things in their short lives together.
I’m excited to hear all the things that’s going on in their lives today. We’re going to talk about what it takes to be married as entrepreneurs. So tell us your story, guys. How did each of you become an entrepreneur individually?
Jasmine: So funny thing is, we actually started entrepreneurship together, our stories were actually separated at first. The first half before we got to entrepreneurship, both of us, we were getting out of high school and we were just following that same old path. Everybody thinks you’re supposed to go to school, get a good good job and all that.
We knew that we couldn’t pay for college. We weren’t confident our families couldn’t pay for college. So, we ended up taking matters into our own hands and we joined the military so that they could pay for college. At the time, we still didn’t know each other, but we were only about 30 minutes away in distance. When we went to basic training, our buildings were right next to each other. We still didn’t know each other.
And then when we got home, we didn’t really know each other then because we were at the same unit in the Army Reserves. But then as soon as we got home from basic training, they deployed us to go on to Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, which is actually where we met and then started dating. And the deployment was horrible. But when we got home, we thought that we were going to live this American dream. We were going to have the white picket fence and great jobs and all that.
And we found out that wasn’t the case. So, again, we had to take matters into our own hands. I finished college and Joe, he should tell that part.
Joe: Basically with my situation, because of some very kind of fine print things, the military didn’t necessarily fund my schooling the way that they funded hers. And also,for me, I wasn’t I just wasn’t as engaged in school as I thought I was going to be because I had done all this work to get free school. And then I started going to school. And then it’s like. Oh, this isn’t fun, and as I remember sitting in class one day, I was like and I got like thirty three point seventy five more years of this is like I can’t I just can’t imagine, really doing this.
And I think it was the tracks that kind of did it for me. But really, I was just really floating around. I think Jasmine was very focused on what she wanted to do, where she wanted to achieve in life her path and what that looked like at one point in time. I had no idea what I wanted to do or who I wanted to be at all.
I do remember there, we had saved quite a bit of money from the deployment, but obviously that was dwindling because it was hard for us to find work and stuff. And I remember driving past a homeless person, but it just wasn’t any type of homeless person. It was a homeless veteran. Then something clicked in my mind. And I was like, oh, I thought there was something always like wrong with those guys.
Maybe they had PTSD or or maybe they weren’t functional for whatever reason. But what I realized is that you can be a totally functional, hard working human being and end up in that exact same situation. I knew that I had to make a change there. And that’s when I think Jasmine had bought a whole bunch of books when we got home and one of the books was Rich Dad, Poor Dad and I was like, well, I’ve done all this for money and I don’t know what I’m doing right now.
So I just read this book and I started reading and I got hooked on that book. It was the first time that I had actually read a book and in at least four years, because even in high school, I used to figure out ways to kind of study a book just enough to where I could pass the test. But I never read the whole thing. This was the first time in years I had read an entire book and it just got me on this path of wanting to learn more about wealth accumulation and investing in business and all these different types of things.
So I ended up being an insurance agent, which is kind of it wasn’t necessarily business ownership, as I know it today, but it was my first shot at learning how to interface with the customer, learning how to sell, how to present myself well and all those different types of things. So it taught me a lot of the basics. And I think when she saw a lot of me doing a lot of that, she basically was like, oh, I want to do something like that, too.
It was a whole bunch of trial and error. We became licensed agents first and then we looked at into whole heartedly. And there was this whole journey that a lot of people don’t know about, of us just trying and failing as so many different types of things. But then we started buying businesses literally years later after, you know, kind of getting some success here and there, but mostly failures.
And it clicked. And, you know, as an entrepreneur, I feel like there’s this day where. I feel like when you know you’re an entrepreneur, you know, when something is made for you, when you have a good day and you enjoy it but you have a good day and anything, you kind of enjoy that day. But you also have a bad day, but you still have this burning desire to be the best in the world at whatever it is that you’re doing at that point in time.
That’s the point in time where I knew that us buying companies and scaling them were what we were actually meant to do.
Lyle: Cool. What are some struggles you guys overcame going into entrepreneurship? Was it a learning factor or was it more to it?
Joe: So in my opinion, I think learning is actually the fun part. Like I tell everybody, I’m a lifelong student. I’m such a nerd. I don’t know if I look like it, but I tell people like I am by far the biggest nerd you probably know, like Marvel. I watch History Channel for fun. Sometimes it’s ridiculous. I’m weird, but learning is the fun part. The hard part, however. And I’ll let you take one because I think I know what you’ll say.
But one of the other hard parts for me was dealing with the adversity from certain family members or certain people in your sphere of influence, not necessarily believing in you. And I think it’s OK if somebody doesn’t necessarily believe in you, but there’s people who are sometimes close to you that go down on you the most.
And as an entrepreneur, you almost have to form this ability to be able to love somebody, but at the same time keep a certain amount of boundaries and distance to where they don’t interfere with what you’re trying to do.Because when you’re brand new, that’s when you’re the most fragile, that’s when you’re the most sensitive. And all it takes is somebody to say the exact wrong things that you don’t need to hear at the wrong time.
You’ll start to self talk that they were given to you. At first. They’ll program it into your mind and all of a sudden you’ll be giving it to yourself. So it’s almost like they’ll have this program that’s just running on autopilot of all the things that they would say.
But now your brain is basically subconsciously saying it to yourself. So forming those boundaries were extremely hard. Forming those boundaries, but keeping them to a point where you can still interact with this person because what you don’t want to do is form boundaries that are so big and so strong, which is a mistake that I made to where you just don’t communicate with people that you actually care about anymore than you actually ostracize yourself from other people. And that’s something that you don’t want to do.
So keeping those healthy boundaries is something that’s really, really hard to do. Somebody should write a book about it if they haven’t yet.
Lyle: What about you, Jasmine?
Jasmine: I would say it was probably the consistency for me because when we first got into entrepreneurship, he was kind of leading the way because he went the self employment route first before we actually got into business ownership. And I remember there were times he’s like listening to Tony Robbins in the car. And I’m just irritated because I’m like, I don’t want to listen to this. I want to listen to music. I’m tired of hearing business stuff all the time.
I think it really came down to me not really knowing exactly what I wanted. And kind of just like seeing people on Instagram where it’s like, oh, I just have to do a little bit and then I’ll just be successful and I’ll just be all great.
So really defining what you want and then like just writing down or really thinking about like the desire behind why you want what you want. Because once I knew my why, then the consistency wasn’t a problem for me at all, because I actually work more than Joe now.
Lyle: That’s good. So you’re watching boundaries and being consistent. Those are great points, guys. I appreciate. So what are some wins you guys have in life right now? I know we’re in a weird situation in the world right now.
We don’t need to talk about what’s going on and everything that everybody knows. So what are some wins, some things that you’re doing in your business and in your life? You talk about your marriage even that’s really helping you grow closer as a couple and help your business grow. What are some tips there?
Joe: Yeah, so some definite wins that we’re having is just our ability to kind of work on two separate projects at the same time, I do my part, Jasmine does the other part, and then we could come together, kind of debrief each other on what’s been done and and just kind of separate and come together at the end of each day. It’s been a really, really good work flow for us because what we’re going now is like totally different in the business.
But we still keep each other updated and we’re getting a lot done. You know, way more done is as opposed to us working on the same thing or something along those lines. So that’s, in my opinion, a really huge win because, that’s that’s a hard balance for a lot of people to achieve, but also being able to still achieve some growth. And the businesses that we actually have, a lot of businesses are you know, their sales are declining to shut down.
Some are going bankrupt. And I’m blessed to be able to say that I’m still steadily. But my businesses are still steadily growing throughout everything that’s been going on right now. And I think it’s partially because you guys and also I think it’s just honestly the grace of God as well, because like at the end of the day, like I look at my business situation and I could have been so easily taken out, but I think there was definitely some divine intervention there for sure.
Jasmine: Yes, so one I I’ve been getting lately is that Joe and I have been able to relax a little bit more, I guess, like we we’re looking at a blessing in disguise for all twenty, twenty, just a ridiculous year. But it has given us the time to actually take a step back and breathe and like have more conversation than we usually would have outside of business. Because when we started business it was kind of just always, always business.
We really didn’t have a lot of personal time and that was a little struggle of ours. But we’ve definitely gotten a lot of downtime this year to just sit back and enjoy each other.
Lyle: Oh, that’s great word. And here’s a big question I would ask people. If an entrepreneur is listening and they hear you guys are doing great as a couple and great as entrepreneurs. What’s one tip you would give them that they can put in practice this week?
Joe: Yeah, so my tip, honestly, I think, is a very, very unconventional and it kind of piggybacks off of what Jasmine was just saying, but a lot of entrepreneurs have this idea that they’re just going to hustle their way to success.
And at the end of the day, my mom hustles, my dad hustles, like a lot of people in my family. I mean, they have unbelievable work ethic, like my dad, he was working one day and Jasmine and I were with them the whole entire day, kind of helping them out. And Jasmine was just so surprised at how hard this man can actually work. And his age is really incredible. But what I found is that. There is a time and a place for rest, and a lot of people don’t understand that rest is just is just as important, if not more important than the actual work or the hustle.
I was watching this video the other day from I forget who made the video, but Warren Buffett and Bill Gates was in it and Bill Gates was talking about some of the things that he learned from Warren Buffett. And he said earlier on in his career, his schedule was always full.
He had no free time ever. And he was looking at Warren Buffett and he was like, he’ll look at his calendar. And he’s like, it’s almost nothing in here. Warren Buffett was saying, I give myself a lot of time to meditate and to think and to kind of just be born from time to time. And I think creating a space to just think and even being bored at times gives the universe or God or whatever you believe in the chance to kind of bring ideas to you, because if you’re busy working on something, you can’t contemplate on bigger and better things.
I think allowing yourself a chance as an entrepreneur to rest and think and don’t guilt trip yourself into thinking that you should be working. I think if you do that, you’ll be so much more creative. There’s times where I take time off and when I come back to work, I’m just I’m unstoppable.
Lyle: That’s great. I agree with that because you have to allow the ideas and the vision to be birthed. If you’re so busy trying to do all the little things, you don’t have time for that breathing that processing your brain needs to grow. I keep telling Matthew we need to just disappear for a week. He and I together and just let the vision go, you know, and see what happens. Absolutely.
Jasmine, what would you add? What’s tip you would give somebody that’s an entrepreneur?
Jasmine: Well, for specifically, like an entrepreneur couple, the tip that I would give is to take some time this week to reflect and maybe even journal if journaling is your thing and write down like what do you think that your strength is as a couple and maybe even your weakness, but really focus on the strengths?
Because I noticed when we started in entrepreneurship, I would kind of get jealous of Joe sometimes because I’d be like, well, you know, everybody thinks he’s so smart and like, nobody’s talking to me, nobody shaking my hand. And I really was only looking I was looking at us like as individuals, even when we first got married, even though we’ve only been married for a year.
A couple of months after we got married, I realized, we’re one, we’re not two anymore. So I can’t look at him and think that’s my enemy. And I shouldn’t ever be jealous of him because if he looks good, then that makes me look good as well. I really take the time to just think about how, your strengths as a couple and then maybe your strengths and weaknesses as an individual and how you can strengthen together with one another.
Lyle: Now, those of you who are listening, pay attention, because we’re going to actually take this conversation into a whole other process. We’re going to do session two with these guys and we’re going to dig into a little bit more about that entrepreneurship being made as a couple thing. I’m going to ask a lot of questions. Already warned them about that. But if you’re if you’re not married and you can check out right now, that’s fine. Go to abundantculture.co.
That’s abundantculture.co. And you’ll find these guys. They’ve got a podcast. Go listen their podcast. You’ll get some really good stuff, but you can also go to OptimizeProfitability.com look for episode number two. You’ll find these guys online with us. You’ll find some extra stuff, including a free five day mini course on wealth. So come on to OptimizeProfitability.com, or just got to Dfwtop.com, check out episode number two.
You’ll get that extra course and you get to hear a lot more from these two great guys. Guys, I appreciate you coming on. And I’ll see you here in just a few minutes as we get on the next episode.
Joe: Thank you.
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